We met again..

In the past we usually meet on Saturdays, but this time it's Sunday.

I always wanted to talk to him, to clear things out, but he was always busy and unavailable. It was a few days ago when I gave him a deadline. I told him that I can't wait any longer. I'm happy that he made a way despite his busy schedule so we can finally talk.

He picked me up at home and we went to Mcdonald's drive thru to get dinner then drove back home. It was already late because he had to do some business.

I live alone and I always don't think inviting a guy over is a good idea. So we parked outside our place instead, our usual spot.

We ate dinner. After that, he took the initiative to finally talk. It made me so proud of him because in the past he used to just smile or nod when I say something serious. He was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy but now I can see that he’s changed.

It was a long talk. Apologies were said, until he told me that he's not yet ready to be in a relationship again which I completely understood because right now he's still moving on. I felt something in my heart for a moment but decided to just ignore it because it's the only right thing to do. I cried a little while telling him that he really hurt me before. He was sorry so I let it go.

We spent more time together talking about random stuff, mostly his plans. It's so good listening to him. He's really grown up a lot.

We laughed at every funny story.

I was laying on his lap while he caress my hair. It was so comfortable.
It’s only for a few minutes but it felt like forever. That familiar moment, that same parking lot, that same person.. makes my heart hurt so good.

But we're just friends. Even though we didn’t really say it to each other to just remain friends, I know in my heart that it’s better off that way.

If in that moment I was still the old me, I would’ve already cried out of pain and emotional stress. But I didn't because the person that he was with that night was ME--the me NOW. The me now who learned to not cry over spilled milk. The me now who learned to let go of the things that I can't control. The me now who learned to accept that even how much you love a person, sometimes you just have to let them go because it's the right thing to do.

While I’m proud of him for becoming his better self, I am also very proud of myself for the same reason.

I know that even if we don’t end up together, I’m still very grateful for the experiences, for the lessons. I'm grateful for the way he treated me and the way he made me feel so special.

It was both a struggle and calm but I acknowledge that it was all God's doing. I couldn't be more thankful because the author of my every story is Him.

I have met plenty of guys throughout my teenage and early adult life, but I guess it's safe to say that he was my TOTGA. We may have met at the wrong time but he will always be..




..or atleast for now. We'll see.